Friday, May 17, 2019

THE GIRL WHO CHANGED MY HEART



For six years, our family lived at Boys Town.  If you aren’t familiar with Boys Town, here is a 10 second history lesson. While ministering to the ​homeless on the streets of Omaha, Nebraska, Father Edward Joseph Flanagan developed a lifelong interest in young people and their struggle to grow into responsible, productive members of society. Over 100 years later, Boys Town is still a place where children and families are valued and supported.  Our role at Boys Town was that of Family Teachers.  We had the privilege of living with almost 50 girls during our time there.  While it is true that each one brought something new to my life, there was one who changed my perspective on foster care.

In the days leading up to Josie* moving into our home, we had a meeting with our boss who told us “You need to read this file. She looks like a pretty tough kid.  I’m not sure she will make it here.  She has run away from almost every other placement and it looks like she is a pretty angry girl.”  I don’t remember any of the details, but the truth was, she did look rough. We had learned, however, that rarely does the paperwork tell the whole story.  What looks scary on paper could turn into easy and what looked easy on paper could turn our house upside down. 

The first thing that I realized when Josie moved in was how bright she was.  She was curious, she threw herself into her schoolwork, she asked for help when she needed it, and she liked to have deep conversations.  

As usually happened, I heard stories about her years in foster care.  I heard the stories behind why she would run away.  She shared stories of trying to get help from caseworkers only to be told “you are not being abused”.   She described the feeling of being told that “foster kids are dirty” and how she was made to sit at a separate table during meals and was only given tv dinners while the family ate their meals at the dining room table and was told not to ever walk on the carpet.  She told me stories of Christmas when she was given a package of men’s’ socks even though she knew that foster parents were getting a stipend. Sadly, these stories, though heartbreaking weren’t surprising.  After having many girls who had been in foster care, the stories weren’t new to me.  

The day that my heart was changed was the day she was talking to guests in our home and when she walked into the living room, she said “This is my favorite room because it is the first time in over 6 years that anyone has ever hung my picture on the wall.  I finally feel like I have people who don’t see me as disposable.”  Later, when the two of us were alone, I asked her about her comment and she said “if someone had hung my picture up, I could’ve dealt with all the other stuff and probably wouldn’t have run away.”  

From that point on, I realized that it’s easy to get caught up in worrying about feeling equipped to be a foster parent, worrying about deadlines and paperwork, worrying about home visits and therapy appointments, but at the heart of every one of us is the need to not feel disposable.  From that point on, one of the first things we did was hang up a picture of the youth in our home because, if we got everything else wrong, at least they would know that they weren’t disposable!

*name has been changed

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